Fall Break

Six months old

And then I ate so much kettle corn I got sick.

hear, hear

Hello.
He-HELLO?!

Guess what? I'm pretty sure I lost a lot of hearing in my left ear. I have no idea why, because I'm such a grandma when it comes to volume. I don't listen to music loudly in my car, and I hardly ever use headphones. I also wasn't near a jet engine recently, either.
How annoying.
But I'm not kidding-- I seem to have lost a significant portion of hearing in my left ear, and I feel super unbalanced. I hope it goes away, but then again, it's been like this for three days now.

I do not approve.

screenshots

I take screenshots and forget about them. But I rediscovered them today. Here are some of them:

No, her song isn't called "Coutndown."

Canadians should be offended by this job application. 

Canadians aren't that bad (Tara, this is for you).

Worldwide Twitter trends after I came home from
 Deathly Hallows Part 2.
For those of you who don't know, when something trends
on Twitter, it means a lot of people are talking about it.

U.S. Twitter trends.

My family used to have a Russian Blue cat (Moke).

And finally, Netflix captioning for 3rd Rock From the Sun. 

How To Be a Great Photographer

How To Be a Great Photographer:

1. Buy a super fancy camera. We all know that having a handy-dandy Nikon D3 is all that it takes.

2. Make sure to only use a shallow depth of field. The only thing that people want to see in focus is one little bit of the picture anyway, so don't ever worry about using an aperture smaller than F1.4. Who cares about crisp backgrounds?

3. Overexpose. No matter how ghostly white someone's skin appears or how washed-out the scene is, it's okay as long as their eyes have an unnatural, otherworldly pop to them.

4. Go ahead, add a watermark. Even if your pictures are taken from your phone's camera, you deserve a professional mark on your image.

5. With the watermark, make sure you have a genuine, creative name for your copyright. A good rule of thumb are these unique formulas:

First Name + Last Name + Photography

 (make sure it's in fancy script!)

or

Photography Terminology + Studios

or

Purposely Misspelled Word + Pix/Foto

or

Color + Your Favorite Animal + Imagery/Pictures

6. Don't ever worry about the technical camera stuff, Photoshop fixes everything.

7. Most of your people pictures should not contain their faces. This is especially true with wedding photography. Capture their feet, their rings on a flower, their Uncle Alfonso's wrinkly wrists; but try really hard to avoid their faces.

And finally,

8. Never take criticism. If your mom says your pictures are perfect just the way they are (like you), then don't try to progress at all.