June was rough. We were short-staffed at work all month, so I ended up working a lot of extra shifts. I also helped with paperwork, especially with getting ready for our audit in July. It became draining. I didn't have time to do stuff around the house, most of my plants died, the only quality time I had with Dustin usually was right before we went to sleep and we would chat. There was no respite from work, and it became draining.
Along with that, I've been extremely irritated. Day by day I have become more unfriendly. Poor Dustin has had to put up my constant bitchiness. I have felt like I can't ever just be happy or even neutral-- I am just a total grump.
Then set in the complete disinterest in everything. Our therapist suggested Dustin and I plan a small trip sometime this year because we have been overworked and it's taken a toll on us. I tried to think of a place to go that I would be interested in, and absolutely nothing sounded good. The next week our therapist had us write down our individual and couple goals and what steps we're taking to reach them. It was difficult because I wasn't interested in anything. The few things I had listed mainly had to do with photography, and even then I was pretty vague in what I wanted.
All through this I keep getting nauseated, motion sick, ear pain, headaches, fever-like heat flashes, and was completely sapped of energy. A lot of the time the onset is from noises, which has been frustrating because I never listen to loud music, minus at concerts (but even then I wear hearing protection). And I hardly ever use headphones either.
I went to my hometown to take my sister's bridal photos on a hot Monday and felt incredibly sick the entire time. The heat was overwhelming and I felt like I was spinning and close to throwing up. And it keeps happening. The times I usually feel okay are when I'm in a cold, dark room. Like a sickly polar bear.
I went to my hometown to take my sister's bridal photos on a hot Monday and felt incredibly sick the entire time. The heat was overwhelming and I felt like I was spinning and close to throwing up. And it keeps happening. The times I usually feel okay are when I'm in a cold, dark room. Like a sickly polar bear.
Everything mixed together has been a clustercuss of garbage. Because mental health affects physical health and vice versa, my life is a Catch 22 of one making the other worse. After our last session, I got a phone call from my therapist-- she had been looking through my notes from the past month and a half and strongly suggested that I get a med change for my depression. So I scheduled an appointment with my doctor, but it was going to have to wait a couple weeks. I was pretty miserable about everything.
And then two weeks ago I felt even more sick. I called into work (for the first time) because I just did not feel well. Plus, my sister was getting married in two days and I desperately needed some time to recuperate. I barely made it through the wedding and home before I got worse. So then I scheduled an appointment for that Friday. From my visit, my doctor believes it's tension headaches, but some of my symptoms don't quite match up. I was prescribed a muscle relaxant and a new antidepressant (that was one good thing-- I was able to get a med change much sooner than I expected). She also suggested I get an MRI to make sure nothing else is going on with my brain. So I got an MRI yesterday, and it was definitely a different experience. I don't know the results, but all I know is that the contrast they put in my IV made me nauseated for quite some time. They did let me see pictures of my brain though, which was pretty neat.
So here I am. This post is seriously so boring to read, so thanks for giving it a go.
