The Cowboys and the Parking War: The Epic Conclusion

Help me out here, guys. Should I name this script:

"Victory"

"WINNING" or

"Eviction Notice"  ?

Opening Scene

Wednesday night, about 12:35 am-- Sarah sits at her desk with her window cracked open. Cue the cowboys and their guests pulling into the parking lot. Sarah hears the noise and quickly flips her light off so she can spy out the window.

The truck pulls in and several people pile out. 

One of the cowboys: "Go ahead, move the parking sign."

The short cowboy picks up the bucket that houses the Visitor's Parking sign. He drags it clear down to the dumpster, giving an extra seven or so spots.

(Cut to a montage of the Visitor's Parking sign that had been repeatedly moved over the past few months. Subtly explain that it is out of the cowboy's laziness that they move it in order to park by their door and that their guests are also too lazy to park a whole 20 ft away in visitor's parking. Cut back to the parking lot.)

The guests and the cowboys shout rowdily. They make rude comments about the girls in #2 (Sarah, Katy, Kate, Shannon).

Cowgirl chick #1: "We'll cut those bitches up!"

Cowgirl chick #2: "Let's go and kick their asses."

They enter into the cowboys' apartment, laughing loudly.

12:40 am-- Sarah texts the parking services man about the sign. He says he will be there soon to move the sign back and boot the cars.

About 1:00 am-- The parking guy arrives. He opens the trunk to pull out the boot when one of the cowboys goes outside to throw something away. The cowboy starts yelling at the parking man. The noise attracts the other cowboys and their guests, and they form a mini-gang outside. They begin to verbally attack the parking man.

The cowboys continue to yell about the parking sign and being booted (Recorded transcripts available for further detail.).

Cowboy #1, with a naturally strong hick accent: "We have a right to move the parking sign! There's nowhere in our contracts that says there's only four spots for visitors. So therefore we have a right to move the sign. We have a right. A right!" 

Parking Man, calmly: "It says on these half sheets that there are five spots available. You got one of these sheets when you moved it." (Note: not an error because the parking man was being generous with the number)

Cowboy #1: "We have a right! We didn't get those papers! We have a right to move it!"

Parking Man: "You got the papers when you moved into the apartment."

Cowboy #1: "We've had three different managers, so how are we supposed to know if we got it?! How are we supposed to know which one of the contracts to stick to?!" 

Editor's note: Just because there are three different managers doesn't mean there are three different contracts. They clearly didn't understand.

Cowboy #1: "Well you're not allowed to boot me because it's my right to move the sign!"

Katy pulls in amidst the excitement. She goes inside and listens and watches through Sarah's window.

The parking man continues to get yelled at for an hour and a half. They continue to reference their "rights" and that he can't boot them. The parking services man continues to explain that he does, but he won't boot them at the time.

Cowboy #2, with an equally hickish accent: "If you didn't want the sign to move, cement that son of a bitch in the ground!"

(Later)

Cowboy #2: "You are only trying to boot us because you want money!"

(Later)

Cowboy #2: "You guys never boot, so why now?! I've been parked like this for five weeks! You guys don't come around enough to enforce the visitor parking!"

Parking Man: "Well if we're out to get money, then why haven't we been here in five weeks?"

The cowboys continue a string of contradictory statements. They insult the manager.

Parking Man: "I'll tell you one thing-- Riverside is not going to miss you when you're gone."

Later, "Are you guys drunk?"

One of the cowboys: "Hell yeah we're drunk!" (Editor's note: this is a crucial plot point. Do not leave it out.)

The parking man leaves. The cowboys go inside. Katy and Sarah listen through the paper-thin walls. 

One of the cowboys: "I'm going to take her battery and mess with it so that when she starts her car it'll shock her."

The threats continue. So does their party. Due to past events involving all of #2's cars, Katy doesn't take the threat lightly. She calls the cops and complains about the loudness, drinking, and threats.

After 2:00 am-- Two policemen arrive. They knock on #3's door. Katy and Sarah listen through the kitchen wall. They can hear two of the girl guests run upstairs as the cowboys open the door.

Cop #1: "Why did they run? Do they have something to hide?"

One of the cowboys: "We'll see if we can get them to come down."

Katy listens as the girls come down. The cops ask them if they're underage, but the cowboys respond.

One of the cowboys: "She's 21, I swear. She's going on a mission soon." (Editor's note: Sarah and Katy strongly believe both of those statements to be false.)

The cops tell them to be quiet and then leave. Katy and Sarah are unable to sleep. 

At one point later in the night, the short cowboy (aka ginger cowboy) pees outside on the fence. Sarah can also hear her neighbors puking all night.

The next day, 1:00 pm-- Katy and Sarah go to the office. The manager, Brooke, welcomes them. Katy proceeds to tell her about the previous night's events. Brooke comments about how much she wants them to move and begins to think.

Brooke: "I'm so glad you called the parking guy, because now we have something against them. I think we have grounds to evict them."

Brooke calls Darren, the owner, after Katy drives Sarah to class.

While Sarah is in class, Katy revisits the office. She inquires about the situation.

(Cut to the art building) About 3:30 pm-- Sarah's hands are being torn up by chicken wire in 3D design. Her phone rings. Katy is on the other end.

Katy: "Guess what?! Two of the cowboys are being evicted!"

(Cut to Firehouse Pizzeria) Katy, Sarah, Kate and Kate's friend Cara celebrate. Kate uses her feminine wiles to get a free giant Fh'zzookie.

End on a scene of the roommates of apartment 2 riding away into the sunset on unicorns.

Okay, okay, in all seriousness now. I was a little bothered by the fact that I was the starting domino in a chain of events that ended in two people being evicted. I thought about the concept of "mercy vs. justice," and that maybe we were cold-hearted in celebrating our neighbors' eviction. I also thought of the concept that mercy cannot rob justice (Alma 42:25), and that we had gotten to the point where all of our mercy was exhausted. It wasn't fair that we were afraid to go outside when they were out, or that we were afraid that our cars would be seriously vandalized. Enough was enough, and that is why I don't actually feel bad. The moral of the story is that if you're going to mess with apartment 2, we'll punch back harder. And get you evicted. 

So, what shall I name this script?