Monuments and Melodies: May 2011

I'm a movie fanatic, you see, and this summer is going to be an AWESOME summer for movies. Last summer we were treated to Toy Story 3, Iron Man 2, Robin Hood, and absolutely the best of all, Inception. I don't think many movies will ever beat Inception on my list, but that doesn't mean this summer won't pack some awesome punches.

May 6- Thor

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins

I haven't seen this yet, and I probably won't for a while, but I am definitely excited about this movie. Mainly because it's a comic book movie, which I'm definitely a sucker for. The plot is pretty standard for a comic book movie: the powerful warrior Thor is cast out of the realm of Asgard by his father, Odin, and sent to guard and protect earth. Hopefully it has killer fight scenes and witty dialogue to keep the movie moving along.

Theater standing (will I see it? When?): Hopefully in a regular theater, most likely dollar theater.

May 20- Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush

I saw this at midnight last Thursday and was disappointed at the small theater turnout. It was sold out on Friday, but I was hoping for a packed opening night. I'm a huge Pirates fan- I love all the movies and I've seen them multiple, multiple times. On Stranger Tides had a new director and was missing Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly, but I actually liked it that way. The new directing gave a freshness to the end of the series and the lack of Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner simplified the plot and was able to give Jack Sparrow his own screen time again. Needless to say, I loved it and will probably see it again eventually.

Theater standing: Midnight showing

May 26- Kung Fu Panda 2

Starring: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan
I remember seeing Kung Fu Panda in theaters and laughing a lot. I honestly don't know that much about KFP 2, but the trailer is promising and funny. With a crapload of talented voices, hopefully new director Jennifer Yuh (who hasn't done terribly many movies) will keep elements we loved from the original movie yet fuse her individuality in it as well.

Theater standing: Regular theater; dollar theater

The Hangover Part II

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms

The Hangover. The Hangover, the Hangover. The first Hangover took place in Las Vegas where the boys woke up with no recollection of the previous night and only a series of objects and things (including a live tiger and a baby) to help them retrace their steps. This time around, the boys are in Thailand for Stu's (Andy from The Office) wedding, and once again wake up with nadda memory of the night before. And instead of a baby or a tiger, this time it's a monkey. I'm really hoping that this movie is chalk full of laughs, awkwardness and a slight crudeness. That's what made the first one successful, hopefully they'll roll with it again.

Theater standing: Possible regular theater; Redbox

May 27- The Tree of Life

Starring: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn

I read about this movie a while back while it was still in production. Although the synopsis doesn't provide much information as to what the movie is about, I'm a big Brad Pitt fan and both critics and regular people have rated this movie incredibly high. I believe it was named the best movie at the Cannes Film Festival, so... oooh! The synopsis says "The story centers around a family with three boys in the 1950s. The eldest son witnesses the loss of innocence." See? Not very descriptive, but I would love to see it. Unfortunately, it's probably only in select theaters or something.

Theater standing: Wishfully hoping regular theater; Redbox

June 3- X-Men: First Class

Starring: James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence

SO EXCITED. Unlike most series, X-Men has only gotten better since the first one. I loved Origins: Wolverine, and even though this is technically a prequel, I am absolutely stoked to the max. This time around it's directed by Matthew Vaughn, who is best known for Kick-Ass and Stardust. I probably will never see the former, but he did a pretty good job on the latter. The movie is about the beginning of the Charles Xavier's X-Men, a school for students with superhuman abilities. Once again, it's a comic book movie, and I am so excited.

Theater standing: Small chance of midnight showing; regular theaters

June 10- Super 8

Starring: Elle Fanning, Amanda Michalka, Kyle Chandler
Because I can't sum it up, here's the synopsis: "In the summer of 1979, a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a super 8 movie and soon suspect that it was not an accident. Shortly after, unusual disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town, and the local Deputy tries to uncover the truth - something more terrifying than any of them could have imagined." I'm not really a huge fan of movies focused around catastrophic damage (with the exception of a few) or surly aliens (also with the exception of a few films), but this is a J.J. Abrams film. I'm a huge fan of Abrams, who has an awesome last name and very high-quality work including Lost, Mission Impossible, Fringe, Star Trek, Alias and more. He is very focused on story, character development and he has a knack for making you love whatever you're watching. So because of him, I would see this movie.

Theater standing: Regular theater on a bored day; dollar theater

June 17- The Green Lantern

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard
Once again, another comic book movie. However, to me, this looks like a slightly lower quality than the rest of the others coming out this summer. I don't know if it's the weird CGI suit he wears or the borderline-corny eye mask, but it just seems like one of those movies that will do well in the box office but fall flat. I like Ryan Reynolds but Blake Lively is sub-par, and that's a disappointment. Hopefully it will exceed my expectations, because it just looks okay to me.

Theater standing: Slight chance of regular theater; dollar theater

June 24- Cars 2

Starring: Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Caine
First of all, I love Sir Michael Caine. Secondly, I don't like Cars. The first movie is one of my least favorite Disney/Pixar movies, so when I saw that there was going to be a second one, I wasn't excited at all. I saw the preview and was even more disinterested. The plot looks too obnoxious to stand and more focus is put on Mater (who is the reason I didn't like the first movie), which is going to make it just unbearable for me.

Theater standing: No. Forcibly Redbox

July 1- Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Starring: Shia ~~LeBeef~~ LeBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Tyrese Gibson
I didn't care too much for the first Transformers, so I ~~avoided the second one like the plague~~ never bothered to see the second one. The trailer for the third one, however, really caught my attention. Robots on the moon? That's cool stuff! Director Michael Bay finally got the sense to get rid of Megan Fox (such a horrible actress) and replace her. The girl he replaced her with is a Victoria's Secret model, so I don't really see much promise with her, either. But at least she's no Megan Fox... One reason I would actually go see this is Hugo Weaving's (V for Vendetta, Elrond in Lord of the Rings) voice. Mmm.

Theater standing: Dollar theater

July 8- Zookeeper

Starring: Kevin James, Rosario Dawson
Kevin James (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)? Talking animals? Stupid humor?
NO.

Theater standing: NEVER; rather be poked with a hot shovel

July 15- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Alan Rickman *squeal*
I saw the trailer and squealed. This- this is the movie of the summer. Box office-wise, that is. Ten years after the first movie was released, the series is finally coming to a close on the silver screen. Some of the movies I've not been superbly happy with, but I still eagerly await them with a stomach full of anticipation. After being extremely pleased with the adaptation and directing of #5 and #7 part I, I think it's safe to say that part II will be awesome. Scratch that- it will be EPIC. I'm a huge Potter fan, so midnight on July 14th will be a bittersweet moment. No more premiers, no more movies. But it was fantastical while it lasted.

Look at me rambling! I could go on and on (and on) about how much I love Harry Potter, but we all know the reason I want to see the movie so much: Alan Rickman. Snape is such a dynamic, intricate character, and the fact that the glorious Alan Rickman is channeling Snape once again just makes July 15 seem so far away. Dear Alan, I love you, and I can't wait for part II.

Theater standing: 1000% Midnight showing in costume.

Winnie the Pooh

Starring: Jim Cummings, Craig Ferguson, John Cleese
I'm not going to lie, I was never a fan of Winnie the Pooh. I always found Pooh to be annoyingly slow and dim-witted to the point I couldn't stand. Eeyore was too depressing for me, and Tigger really needed speech therapy. The only redeeming character in the whole series is Owl, and since Craig Ferguson (whom I love) is the voice of Owl, there is actually a possibility of me seeing this movie. Also, j'adore John Cleese, so there's another reason. All-in-all, that's only 2 reasons. So.... hmmph.

Theater standing: Redbox

July 22- Captain America: The First Avenger

Starring: Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Stanley Tucci
Did you see that cast?! Hugo Weaving and Stanley Tucci! Well I'm excited already! Needless to say, when this movie was announced upwards of two years ago, I marked it in my mental movie calendar as "Must See." If you didn't know, most of the recent comic book movies (Marvel, not DC) have been leading up to The Avengers, set to come out next year. Of all the Marvel comic book movies, The Avengers will hopefully be the most epic. Anyways, Captain America (as noted in the title) is the first Avenger, he has a red, white and blue shield, and he's American. So why the heck would you NOT want to see it?

Theater standing: Regular theater; dollar theater

July 29- Smurfs

Starring: Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria, Katy Perry
With Hank Azaria (multiple Simpsons characters) and Neil Patrick Harris, this movie shouldn't sink too far. The Smurfs were a generation or two older than me, and since I don't have any connection to the Smurfs I won't care too much for this movie. My prediction is that all of our parents will see it and all the kids will see it. The rest of us will maybe see it if we are bored or something. I wasn't impressed by the trailer, and I don't think I would like Katy Perry's voice in a movie. I can't really say anything else about this, really.

Theater standing: Dollar theater; Redbox

Cowboys and Aliens

Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde
I don't think there are any words that will properly convey how much I want to see this movie. When I first saw the trailer, I didn't know how to feel about a fusion of the wild west and extra terrestrials. The more I thought about it, the more intriguing it became, and eventually I created within myself an obsession and curiosity that will only be fulfilled when I see this movie. It's directed by Jon Favreau (Iron Man, Iron Man 2), so I have full confidence that any action/fight scenes will really entertain and be visually exciting. The actual premise of the movie is original and refreshing, and I just cannot wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. This movie will hopefully close the summer movie run well. Who knows, I probably will have a Collector's edition DVD of it.

Theater Standing: Possible midnight showing; regular theater; dollar theater

Me: "Hey, how are you?"

You: ----------

Me: "Great, just great. Sorry I haven't talked to you in a while, I was busy with finals and crap."

You: ---------

Me: "Yeah, I live back at home now, along with my sister, my brother-in-law, my niece, my older sister's fiancée and his kids every other weekend."

You: ---------

Me: "Oh no, it's actually not that bad, except I don't have a bedroom anymore, so I sleep in the garage room. It's actually quite nice, because it's like my own apartment, minus a kitchen and you know, a bathroom. So what are you up to this summer?"

You: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me: "Really? That sounds awesome Why'd you pick to go to [insert foreign country]?"

You: ---------

Me: "Fun, fun."

You: ---------

Me: "Oh, I've got nothing planned myself, except a birthday party and a few trips to Logan. And hopefully a near-death experience in the Provo River."

You: ---------

Me: "Of course I'm seeing Harry Potter at midnight! Do you think I'm crazy? I haven't figured out my costume yet, though. You should go as [insert character]. I'm also going to see the new Pirates movie, because I love Pirates so much."

You: ---

Me: "The first one's my favorite."

You: ---------

Me: "So what have you done the first few days of summer?"

Me: "You built an entire orphanage already?! That's really... productive. And to think I've done nothing but watch over 35 episodes of 3rd Rock from the Sun since Sunday morning and build a toothbrush holder."

You: ---------

Me: "You try finding a toothbrush holder that has 12 slots."

You: ---

Me: "Well it's been nice talking, but I have to get to my Doctor's appointment now, so I've gotta go."

You: ---------

Me: "Insomnia. See ya later, and have fun this summer!"

Well now that you've had a glimpse of my summer, and I of yours, I will now leave you with pictures of cat cards I found at Bed, Bath & Beyond.