First Dam in July /fərst dam in jo͝oˈlī/ (n.) FREEZING.
After driving two hours with no A/C, two ice packs that melted after an hour, and all my windows rolled down, I arrived in Logan sweating like a
Quick and painful it was.
You know that level of coldness where it causes actual physical pain? The one where it's too cold for your body to go numb? The one where when you finally get out of it you can't move anything? Yeah, that was first dam.
Jenna bought two low-quality ($2.50, as she will brag) blowup rafts to share. We found a spot on the rocky and weedy shore, and I was the last to inch my way into the water. I stood knee-deep in the water, complaining at how excruciatingly cold it was. My legs would've felt better if a doctor would've repeatedly stabbed my shins with needles. Jenna kept telling me that if I stood in the mud, it would warm me up a bit. Since there's pretty much a mile's worth of mud in First Dam, I thought it would work. It didn't. My legs still were in pain. Oh, the agony! Neal had somehow managed to lay on his blowup raft, and since both him and Jenna were getting farther away from me, I felt the need to get on mine and swim out there.
I sat on the stupid little pink blowup raft and was immediately engulfed by pain once again. We tried to swim to the other side, but since the mud was so deep that it might've killed Jenna, we turned to go back to shore. Legs a little more numb than before, but still in pain, I had to stick my arms in the water to paddle myself against the current. My hands were now in cold pain. All of us were complaining. We found the nearest spot of shore not exploding with trees and clambered our way out. Every time I stepped, a sharp dose of uncomfortable pain was administered to my foot.
After standing in the sun for quite some time, we tried to bend our limbs. My hands wouldn't move, my legs wouldn't bend, and my stupid arms wouldn't even lift up.
Neal found out a dog peed on his shirt.
We went back to the lawn in front of Neal's apartment and laid out in the blazing sun until we could function properly again.
And that was the start to my Fourth of July weekend.
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| Jenna trying to prove that the raft didn't suck. It didn't work. |
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| Trying to get on followed immediately by a severe reaction to the cold. Also, I refer to this swimsuit as my "overly modest suit." |
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| The mud was deep and held a lot of branches. |
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| She didn't have a raft. Don't be fooled by smiles- we were all catching hypothermia. |
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| We were slowly drifting to the dam gates. |
2 comments:
Well done! I almost forgot how hot I am!
That swimsuit is very overly modest. It becomes you. I hope you enjoyed the frontal nudity in Sixteen Candles.
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