How To Be a Great Photographer

How To Be a Great Photographer:

1. Buy a super fancy camera. We all know that having a handy-dandy Nikon D3 is all that it takes.

2. Make sure to only use a shallow depth of field. The only thing that people want to see in focus is one little bit of the picture anyway, so don't ever worry about using an aperture smaller than F1.4. Who cares about crisp backgrounds?

3. Overexpose. No matter how ghostly white someone's skin appears or how washed-out the scene is, it's okay as long as their eyes have an unnatural, otherworldly pop to them.

4. Go ahead, add a watermark. Even if your pictures are taken from your phone's camera, you deserve a professional mark on your image.

5. With the watermark, make sure you have a genuine, creative name for your copyright. A good rule of thumb are these unique formulas:

First Name + Last Name + Photography

 (make sure it's in fancy script!)

or

Photography Terminology + Studios

or

Purposely Misspelled Word + Pix/Foto

or

Color + Your Favorite Animal + Imagery/Pictures

6. Don't ever worry about the technical camera stuff, Photoshop fixes everything.

7. Most of your people pictures should not contain their faces. This is especially true with wedding photography. Capture their feet, their rings on a flower, their Uncle Alfonso's wrinkly wrists; but try really hard to avoid their faces.

And finally,

8. Never take criticism. If your mom says your pictures are perfect just the way they are (like you), then don't try to progress at all.