"Good."

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good. How about you?"

"Good."

"Good."

"Well see ya later!"

BORING.

So boring.

Such a boring conversation.

Blah.

And good? Good? What does good even mean?

Good = "I stayed up until 3:00 am writing a stupid physics paper and I had to wake up at 6:30 am."

Good = "My cat died."

Good = "I don't really want to talk to you, so I'll give you a vague, meaningless answer as to how I am."

Good = "This day is actually going quite well, but my personal religion doesn't believe in using synonyms of any kind, so I'll just keep it simple and say good."

Good = "You're awkward and I have to keep this conversation as short as possible before I go nuts."

Good = "I have explosive diarrhea."

Blah. The word "good" sucks. Please don't use it.

A year or so ago I told myself that I when someone asked me how I was doing, I wouldn't answer "good." I was going to actually answer the question, or if not, I would just use a better word.

Here are some common substitutions that I use instead of "good:"

• Fantastic
• Spiffy
• Excellent
• Swell
• Spiffy
• Groovy
• Rad
• Spectacular
• Nifty
• Tired

(I learned to say groovy, rad and swell from my Dad)

I went on dictionary.com and looked up synonyms for the word "good." Here are just a few...

Acceptable, admirable, bad, congenial, exceptional, first-class, gnarly, great, marvelous, prime, rad, shipshape, splendid, sterling, stupendous, super, superb, superior, tip-top, and wonderful.

Now don't ever use the word "good" again.

So... how are you?