just a chat.

I turned on my computer for one reason: to talk to you.
It'll just be a minute, I promise.

So, I only opened my mission call a little over two weeks ago. I was warned by my Bishop, Stake President, and others that from then on (and even beforehand) it was going to get tough. And I'm here to say: it is. It's getting tougher.

It's not like my life is crashing down; I'm not depressed and I'm not an emotional wreck, but it's certainly getting harder to not let things get to me. I can usually brush things off almost immediately, but they're starting to stick.

Satan knows that sight and/or situations aren't terribly effective ways to tempt me. He can get to others that way, but not me. If someone offers me a drink (yes, it happens), I don't falter. Because let's face it-- I'm pretty awesome. But it's all the psychological and emotional stuff. The doubts, worries, fear, persistent and consistent nightmares; the moments where I lack self-confidence that last longer and longer; and the creeping isolation and loneliness that don't actually exist.

I just keep heeding the Lord's counsel to "endure to the end" (Matt 24:13, 3 Nephi 15:9, D&C 14:7) and keep trying. Because even though it gets a little harder each day, I feel more and more blessed and I know without a doubt that I've made the best decision ever.

And I'm looking forward to General Conference now more than ever.